Psychologist's page: Emotions in line with the Torah
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Question: Please tell us about emotional control. How do you advise to do this and to what extent, because a person should not be somehow dry. Thank you!Esther IsraelAnswer: To begin with, the ability to manage your emotional state is a kind of project that you work on throughout your life, at least if you want to achieve a high level of self-control. And it is necessary in order not to succumb to the destructive influence of anger, fear, envy, groundless anxiety and other similar feelings.However, this is not about simply restraining the emotional response. Even those emotions that can cause significant harm are sometimes justified and even necessary. For example, anger can be justified if it is directed against the enemies of the Jewish people, and the feeling of rivalry between those who study the Torah, bordering on envy, according to the instructions of our Teachers, multiplies wisdom (Mishnah, treatise "Pirkei Avot", sect. 4).The feeling can be likened to the flow of a powerful river, which rages, then calms down, but its flow does not stop for a moment. The goal is not to block the flow with a dam, but to steer its course in the right direction, making sure that water does not overflow the banks and flood coastal settlements.Despite the fact that the work on emotions in the Jewish tradition is of great importance, we will not find in it the concept of "control over emotions". The Jewish approach to this issue is based on other principles. Usually it is about the ability to be aware of your feelings and express them selectively, in accordance with certain benchmarks. More precisely, to direct their emotions in line with the Torah and the religious worldview.For example, the Torah teaches not to keep evil in the heart of another person, not to envy someone else's property, to love other Jews, etc. All these guidelines relate to the world of feelings, and the Jew is expected to work on himself, which makes it possible to manifest them properly or, conversely, to refrain from manifesting some of them.This also applies to positive emotions. Thus, the Almighty commands the Jew to rejoice in the holidays, which, of course, is not easy to accomplish if a person is in difficult life circumstances.Work on emotions in the Jewish tradition is closely related and subordinate to work on midot — personal qualities. It is the word "mead", meaning measure or size, that indicates the need to measure the desired measure of emotions, depending on the purpose of the behavior and the specific context. Showing mercy to the cruel is inappropriate, as is cruelty to the weak and defenseless.In fact, almost any emotion can be involved, but the degree and circumstances of its application must be commensurate and appropriate. And landmarks are needed to determine how relevant they are. They are intellectual and spiritual foundations: they are partly dictated by reason and intuition, and partly by the laws of the Torah.Thus, the Jewish worldview requires putting emotions, where necessary, at the service of the Almighty, engaging the mind in addition to the instinctive and spontaneous expression of feelings.The basis of such work on emotional improvement is knowledge of the Torah, its constant study, especially books on Jewish ethics and morality — the so-called sifrei musar (emphasis on the last syllable). As well as a deep and constant awareness that each manifested emotion affects the environment, as well as the inner image of the person himself.The feeling of love can generate a corresponding love, softening and enriching the inner world. And anger can be disastrous not only for those to whom it is directed, but also cause destruction in the soul of the one who feels it.All of the above should lead to the idea that the Jew is not threatened by emotional dryness, because the feelings themselves are a legitimate and necessary side of human life.Let's use the river metaphor again. The power of emotional flow can be huge, and there is no harm in that. On the contrary, the ability to experience strong emotions can be seen as a blessing from Above. By the way, they do not necessarily have to have an external manifestation, and behind a restrained facade there may be an extraordinary internal force.It is only important that this flow is directed correctly and usefully. River waters can be beneficial and nourish large expanses. This is the case when a chaotic flow, flowing along a properly laid channel, brings good, not destruction.Source:http://evrey.com/sitep/askrabbi1/q.php?q=otvet/q8726.htm